I work at Something Tattoo at Amiralsgatan 10 in Malmö, Sweden. I take swish (preferred), cards (costs an extra 50kr per 1000kr spent), or cash. Please eat at least a little something before you arrive.
Q: How do I book with you?
A: There are a few little steps that are as follows:
- Read ALL the info on this page
- Add firstname.lastname@example.org to your email contacts (I sometimes get sorted as spam, which is the story of my life)
- Fill out this form!
- I’ll email you with a calendar that you select a slot from. I do all the bookings myself, so it can take up to 14 days for me to respond to your request. But after that, you’re booked in!
- You come and get your tattoo!
- Note: I don’t generally send out sketches before appointments- it’s better to look at the design together. I normally start working on sketches a week before appointment time, but it varies a lot.
Q: How much does it cost?
A: My prices are 1800sek for the first hour and 1500sek for the following hours. My minimum charge is 1800sek (which is a per customer charge). My tattoos never cost less than 1500sek and rarely more than 6000sek. This includes rent, supplies, and tax, which is altogether about 70% of what you give me (WT actual F). This also includes the time I spend drawing and communicating. In other words, no, I’m not actually making 1800kr an hour. Keep in mind that a tattoo is an investment that lasts for a long long time. If you’re willing to buy a pair of shoes that will last you a year for 1800sek, then you should be willing to pay for a decent tattoo that will last you til you be dead. I know it can be a lot of money for some people, but I really can’t afford to charge less unfortunately. Sorry!
Q: How long does it take?
A: Absolutely impossible to say for sure. I can give estimates but everyone’s skin is different and it depends on size and placement etc. Please add about 30-45 minutes for setting up, cleaning your skin, etc. Ie, don’t expect to be in and out like clockwork. I hate being stressed for time! That being said, I don’t bill you for time spent drawing. I normally start the clock when we begin putting the stencil on and stop the clock after I apply the bandage. If we get interrupted, I deduct a bit of time. That being said, there’s no actual clock…
Q: Can you do this tattoo on me ridiculously small and really detailed?
A: No. You can suggest a general size but I have to make sure the tattoo will age well so I reserve the right to choose the right size for the design. People often want tiny little tattoos, but those generally age poorly and I don’t think I can live with myself if I do shit that’s going to look terrible in a minute. ie I don’t do micro-tattoos (there are people who specialise in that). It’s wise for you to listen to my advice- I also want your tattoo to look as good as possible for as long as possible. Small is bad. that is all.
Q: Will you show me the design before the appointment?
A: I do not send out designs before the appointments. This is for a few reasons: there have been instances where people receive custom designs, cancel their appointments, and then go to some other artist to get the tattoo. Furthermore, it’s very ineffective to communicate about the design over email etc. It’s much more pleasant for everyone to discuss the details of the design in person. We can always make changes when you’re at the studio on appointment day.
Q: You did this tattoo on someone. Can you do it on me too?
A: I try not to repeat tattoos too often because otherwise my job gets very boring. That being said, if you have chosen flash, I reserve the right to repeat the design. For custom work, I generally won’t repeat it because that’s just weird, but there are some instances where I might want to, in which case I’ll ask for your blessing. I’m not gonna repeat a portrait of a family member or anything, but if it’s something fairly common, I just might. I mean, how many ways can you actually draw a sun or whatever.
Q: What if I want to cancel?
A: Just don’t… But if you have to, please do so well in advance so I don’t lose my income for the day. If you cancel within 48 hours of your appointment, I ask you pay for for half an hour (900kr). Within 24 hours, I ask you pay for a full hour (1800kr) via Paypal or Swish. This is not just to be a douche, it’s a real hassle to rebook things at the last minute and it makes me feel very depressed and useless. If you have requested a custom drawing and you cancel after I have made your drawing, I ask you pay 900kr. I normally start working on things a week before the appointment. I don’t take deposits cause that’s just a bother for both of us, but since this is my only source of income, I need to be able to cover my costs and try to predict how much money I’ll have at the end of each month. I’m a sole trader and I don’t have any holiday pay or sick leave. If you’re sick, maybe you still get paid, but if you’re sick and you cancel with me at the last minute, I certainly don’t get paid by your workplace… anyway, boohoo boohoo, but really, please don’t be a shite.
Q: Do you speak Swedish?
A: I understand that gobledygook but I won’t speak it because I’m shy and a coward.
Q: Should I tip?
A: If you’re happy with your tattoo and you want to, I’ll always accept a tip. I also appreciate you sharing photos of your tattoos on social media and recommending me to friends. If you want to tip, please say so when I tell you the price of the tattoo.
Q: Can I use your design and get someone else to tattoo them on me?
A: No. This is my work, and I need to make money off it. I also design a lot of stuff specifically for each customer, and it’s not fair to them. I do simple line drawings anyway- I’m sure you can just do your own or get someone near you to draw something unique. It’s more fun and then I won’t have a fit!
Q: Are you going to visit ______ soon?
A: I always announce if I’m going to travel somewhere! If you follow me, you’ll know, I promise, cause I won’t shut up about it!
Q: What needles do you use?
A: It always depends on what I’m working on. You wouldn’t use a fat sharpie to draw a delicate flower. You get the point… I can’t really offer advice on hand poking because I’m self-taught and I don’t feel comfortable sharing something that’s so personal/might be wrong. My whole leg is covered in absolute garbage that I tattooed on myself… That’s how I learned. You have to do the same. Besides, you can’t really explain how to do it in words.
I normally apply a thin sheet of sticky plastic to the tattoo after I finish. This will fill with fluids like ink and plasma from the fresh tattoo. Keep it on for around 2 days (at least 6 hours, nor more than 3 days). You can shower with the plastic thing on. If it starts falling off or leaking, just peel it off completely. When you remove the plastic, wash the tattoo with your bare clean hands, luke warm water, and mild soap (nothing abrasive). Pat dry with toilet paper. Try to wash it once a day or every two days at least. You can shower with a new tattoo but try to keep the showers short and cool for the first two weeks. Don’t take a bath or whatever. The idea is that you’re going to get a dry scab and you want to keep that on as long as possible. That means no scratching, no picking at it, no fucking around, no dragging a towel across it. If it’s really bad, you can slap it, but try not to be too rough. If you’re really uncomfortable or you notice the scab cracking a lot, you can apply some mild unscented moisturiser. Nothing the seals it like petroleum jelly- only mild basic moisturiser. Helosan works well. Don’t over do it with the cream- you don’t want it all swampy.. max 2 times a day. You can drink after your tattoo.. who the fuck cares and plus you’re a bad ass now, so…